The Damned World

Changes are regular supplements to our lives. Everyone changes. Things changes. Some of us love to make changes. Some businesses have to change to survive. Some people believe changes in feng shui will help them survive. Unwanted changes require other changes to compromise. Some changes are inevitably forced. Changes are perpetual and unavoidable. Of everything changing, habits are of the most difficult to change.

Not long ago I tried changing the direction of my bed but it was hard to get use to it. It wasn't suitable too as noises outside my room could reach me more easily. So I switched back.

I changed my phone too and recalled that it was my old habit that I got rid for the sake of a commitment but it was no longer valid anymore.

Ever since, I realized that when we are so committed to certain things, we tend to be unaware of the other things that are happening around us. I had spent a lot my attention, care, concerns, efforts and life on the things that had now turned into dust. Looking back, there were things that I should have take note of and maybe learn from it.

One of the important ones that I had missed out is that when you want to do something, you have always got to remain focus to it all the time until it is accomplished. Although this contradicts to my failed relationship, for things that do not have the mind of their own, this theory should hold.

My friends showed me that to achieve the things they want, they sacrificed their life for it, which I have not been able to do. While people are out having parties, networking, having fun, good food, splurging, and indulging, they secluded themselves in their dungeons and kept working towards their achievements.

I hadn't realize that I had been wasting my life away until my relationship failed. I took some time to recover myself and by then it was already too late. Starting any sooner in revising for my exams now would still be considered a rush job and will never result in flying colors.

I promised myself; Let this be my FINAL negligence, thoughtless and naive downfall.
I got to change.

There is also another thing that I would like myself to change.
There were many unwanted and despising but true facts that you vividly aware of but you chose to ignore it and live with it. I think sometimes even the slightest thought that came to my mind and how negative it may be, I should still think about it rather than ignoring it and chuck it aside. When the issue manifested and went out of hand, I regret it. Why not try to avoid it and prevent it when I am aware of it?

Judging things can help avoid problems.

My life changed unwillingly but I guessed this was inevitable and I should get used to it. Whatever it is, always take it as a challenge and face it bravely like a man right?

I guessed now that the commitment had been paralyzed and i have no excuses to blame on distractions, the next change I needed is to focus hard on all my targets and the steps I have to do to attain it.

This is posted on April 26 2009 but dated otherwise where it all happened..